The Malaysian Insider

FEB 2 – Malaysia has filed a suit against Apple for infringing patents after its recent launch of the iPad, its latest “what-the-hell-is-it” device.

The joint suit by the Federal government and the Penang state administration is related to ideas that were first registered by Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak and Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng respectively.

Putrajaya and Komtar are claiming that the iPad, due to its position as a product in between the iPhone and the MacBook, is mimicking the 1 Malaysia and Middle Malaysia concepts, respectively.

DEC 16 — Is it just me, or is the world getting more confusing by the day? One day you’re safe in the knowledge that you can have your teh tarik with condensed milk, the next you’re told it's not actually milk!

It used to be that you could take certain things for granted, for example, that liberals want to drink, smoke and have sex all the time and conservatives want to pray and drive big cars. Or that feminists don't wear bras and hippie environmentalists wouldn't take carbon bigfoot-printing flights to go to a climate change convention in Copenhagen.

Nov 21 — In last week’s episode of The Apprentice: MCA, things got even worse for the Third Force as Datuk Seri Ong Trump Keat fired Youth chief Datuk Wee Cartier and Wanita chief Datin Paduka Chew Mango from the presidential council along with six other henchmen.

The dismissal was controversial as the eight seemed to have been dismissed for their refusal to endorse products from a main sponsor of the show.

Trump said he had no choice as “We can ill-afford to have leaders who are against the GAP. Twenty-nine central committee plans back GAP, after all.”

NOV 12 — The everlasting Barisan Nasional (BN) government appears to have lost its first vote in Parliament since it was first formed — which is some time in prehistory where all universal truths were first decided.

However, BN leaders were quick to deny that this was due to a loss-of-confidence in the coalition and merely an insignificant matter.

"After all, it was a motion tabled by one of our backbenchers, so it is still technically a win for BN," said Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dubel Spik.

OCT 29 — Ahh, so yes, they let Nick Griffin, the leader of the “racist” British National Party, on BBC’s "Question Time." What was the result? A record audience of eight million viewers, edging out even the titanic following for "Strictly Come Dancing", and 3,000 new members for the far-right party.

All that achieved by broadcasting a man, allowed just a few minutes in the hour-long show, who twitched all night and talked about Winston Churchill’s “Islamophobia” and wanting to see Britain return to its innocent days when it was 99 per cent white because it is apparently tragic when a “unique human genome becomes extinct.”