The Malaysian Insider

NOV 12 — The everlasting Barisan Nasional (BN) government appears to have lost its first vote in Parliament since it was first formed — which is some time in prehistory where all universal truths were first decided.

However, BN leaders were quick to deny that this was due to a loss-of-confidence in the coalition and merely an insignificant matter.

"After all, it was a motion tabled by one of our backbenchers, so it is still technically a win for BN," said Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dubel Spik.

OCT 29 — Ahh, so yes, they let Nick Griffin, the leader of the “racist” British National Party, on BBC’s "Question Time." What was the result? A record audience of eight million viewers, edging out even the titanic following for "Strictly Come Dancing", and 3,000 new members for the far-right party.

All that achieved by broadcasting a man, allowed just a few minutes in the hour-long show, who twitched all night and talked about Winston Churchill’s “Islamophobia” and wanting to see Britain return to its innocent days when it was 99 per cent white because it is apparently tragic when a “unique human genome becomes extinct.”

OCT 14 — So a couple of days ago we had a hotshot from Hong Kong’s hotshotting Independent Commission Against Corruption giving hottershotter local graft busters the thumb’s up for having more panels than a solar car.

Tony Kwok praised the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) for having such committees as the Anti-Corruption Advisory Board, Special Committee on Corruption, Complaints Committee, Operations Review Panel and Corruption Consultation and Prevention Panel, a system which he said “very few” countries have.

Apparently, that was meant to show how Malaysia was in the superior minority, rather than inferior minority. Because obviously, when you have more and more people telling you how to do things, it is better.

SEPT 28 — Aiyo, what is all this. Go clubbing then pissed drunk already, start peeing in public. Some more not even midnight yet, baru 11pm. If 2 or 3am already different la. Can't pee in a back lane ah? Must do it on the main road. Your father bought this road to be your toilet, is it?

Some more so many security cameras. This is the highest surveillance city in the world, some more got like that. And graffiti la, rubbish la. Might as well not have any CCTV like that.

SEPT 5 — I’ve figured it out. Yes, I have. The whole problem here is that people are misinformed. Everything is just a misunderstanding.

That’s how the organisers didn’t know about a cow’s head being brought to the protest against the Hindu temple in Shah Alam. Somebody must have gotten his dates wrong and thought it was Hari Raya Korban instead of Puasa. So he brought the best part of the cow to the party. Just unfortunate it turned out to be a party about a Hindu temple.