AUG 21 — Marriage. A word that in my teens appalled me, in my 20s feared me, and now, in my 30s, makes me want to lift my hand in salute to those taking the plunge. Marriage. A contract formed in love, a shared future, the shatterer of lonely days and nights, a complementary partnership that seeks to better each other — which is why I am both amused and boggled at how a marriage can cause “social ills.” Let me digress for a moment. First, we had a BN senator telling non-Muslims not to question why an Islamic authority raided a church.
Two days later, the minister in charge of Islamic affairs offers his opinion about a marriage between a gay pastor and his non-Malaysian partner. Huh? It is not okay for non-Muslims to question an action taken by an Islamic body against a church, but okay for a Muslim authority figure to comment about a Christian pastor and his African-American partner? The contradiction aside, the “reasons” given by the minister of how the union between Rev Ou Yang Wen Feng and Phineas Newborn III would affect Malaysians does not make sense. How a marriage between two people would cause “social ills” is beyond me.
Before we talk about how a gay marriage could cause social ills, let’s talk about how straight marriages throughout history have caused them: extra-marital affairs, spousal abuse, marital rape, baby dumping, religious conversion issues... shall I go on? We haven’t solved any of the above, so why apply a bias just because this couple is of the same sex?
In Islamic Affairs Minister Datuk Seri Jamil Khir Baharom’s words: “To me, as the minister in the Prime Minister Department in the religious context, I think it will encourage liberalism in Malaysia and this understanding is worrisome.” He also says: “We agree with human rights but such extremism that allows man and man to marry will create social problems.”
Jamil was referring to liberalism in its extreme sense, which The Moral Politics Test on its website defines as “the variation of liberalism that equally emphasises strong non-conformance and strong independence.” Well. That sounds real good to me.
Liberalism is a fundamental function of a country. It is the cornerstone of democratic governance. Liberalism is not going to shake the morals of Malaysians. Neither is a marriage between two men. Imagine, for a minute, that the tables were turned. That heterosexuals were the minority and heterosexuality was “wrong.” Or if people were ostracised for being attracted to the opposite sex and laws prevented sexual relations between men and women. This is exactly what society does to the gay community and I see no right in it.
Why we constantly demonise a group of people who share the same thoughts, fears, emotions and desires in a relationship as any straight couple does, is something I will never understand. I cried when Ellen DeGeneres married Portia de Rossi. I teared when a friend told me she was marrying her partner. These couples found a rare happiness that is no different from yours or your parents’. Homosexuality is one aspect of human rights, and laws that ban homosexuality are in direct infringement of those rights.
I am aware of religious arguments that say homosexuality is immoral. I am also aware that God, in His infinite wisdom, does not make mistakes. Or if God had made a “mistake”, He surely couldn’t have kept making the same one a million times over, could He? Granted, many are uncomfortable with the thought of same sex relationships, but it does not mean that we do not respect the institution of marriage for what it is — a union between two people who want to be with each other. And you certainly cannot hold a marriage responsible for other people’s choices.
* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.
