FEB 23 — My late uncle was Singaporean, we were not close. He was married to my dad’s sister, and she cooked a lot, so naturally I gravitated to her and her dishes. When he did come to visit, he’d sit on the verandah wearing his sarong.
He was strong on moral values, which looked to me as someone who would say no to most things. No to his daughter in body hugging clothes or travelling without a chaperon. No to dating and “inappropriate and extensive” mingling between the sexes. One time in his two-room Redhill flat he raised his voice to his children to switch off the TV because there was about to be a screen kiss. I was in university then looking at my cousin scamper for the remote, and all his children are older than me.
Which is why I have no difficulty imagining Hasan Ali, the ex-PAS leader and now leader of his own NGO Jati, sitting down with my uncle (if he were still alive) exchanging thoughts.
My uncle is not in the minority, among South Indian families.
Mind you, Indians more than most rely still on matchmaking to get their offspring married, underlining broad adherence to cultural norm. This is attributed to tighter rein on social interaction, boundaries and acceptance.
My late father would likelier agree with my uncle than not, though he was considered less strict with his children’s social space.
That is why discussions on moral norms should take less of a religious and racial zeal. Social conservatives in Malaysia come from all communities.
Which is why the social divide, contrary to common claim, is not Malay versus non-Malays. That is an over-simplification. But if I were to indulge in trying to draw a line, then it would be these social conservatives and the rest. That is not to assume there are no degrees of conservatism in the second group, just that they are not adamant that everything culturally must stay the same.
The conservative in my context here, the ones that fall in line with Hasan Ali and my uncle, are those who are when it comes to social space demand for simplicity and division.
It would be unfair to regard them as backward, even if their ideas are strong. They accept modern things, they just prefer them to be less intrusive.
Nor are they by definition socially inept. They are likelier to be polite and accommodating to strangers, extending great hospitality.
Everything goes limp
Online chatter and admonishments were ever present over the Valentine’s season. Valentine’s is a favourite piñata because no culture is destroyed by scandalising it. So there is less restraint in abusing it.
It seems to the protectors of the many, as time passes, there are more and more things challenging their way of life. And with every proceeding generation less people thinking like them, more people enjoying these “newer” escapes and, worryingly, more people opposing them openly and without shame.
Why so angry?
Well the first reason is already listed, that if they don’t fight it eventually they will become the minority.
Second, pluralism is the accepted norm worldwide. As globalisation, Internet penetration and cultural exchanges destroy borders, what is common elsewhere will become more apparent here. There is no two ways about it.
By the year, Valentine’s will only become more elaborate, because there is a world out there growing to like it as a social event. Social barriers are dislodged therefore the old think of determining boundaries is becoming impossible.
The more it is accepted, the more crowded the social conservatives feel. This is not Malacca of the early 15th century. This is no city-state which regulates the period of stay outsiders get, with much customs to follow. This is not just us.
The English have stopped asking their fellow Jewish countrymen to become good Christians (your old Ivan Hoe) — that is repugnant by today’s standards. Today is about having Prince Charles visit an East London mosque because being British has little to do with being Christian.
Societies are seeking ways to incorporate diversity without infringing the personal space of individuals. This is the reality that is hitting Hasan Ali harder and harder in the morning.
When the West was not wild
It might console the Malaysian social conservatives that the West was never always like this.
In fact it was pretty backward just decades ago. So many of the social advances are relatively new. The world — Muslim or Christian; white, black, brown or yellow; democrat or monarchist — was generally unreceptive to social advancements.
In the late 1900s and early part of the 20th century, Anthony Comstock was leading a values movement to rid American society of pornography and morally suspect literature like birth control. Porn moguls like Screw’s Al Goldstein went to prison for what they were printing, and books like Peter Mayle’s “Where did I come from?” could have been seen as pollutants to the decent upbringing of children.
So Hasan’s moral crusade is not limited to his faith alone. Men of other faith have had the same convictions he has.
The downer for him is that the West has since reconciled away from an authoritarian and heavy-handed treatment of moral issues, even though religion — albeit a more personal one — remains central to lives.
How then?
Hasan Ali won’t change, neither will his small following. A substantial number sympathise with him, but the practical side in them urges them to let these changes take life.
The brouhaha over the children’s book does offer an insight to the real battle.
The book has been on the shelves of Malaysian bookstores for more than a quarter of a century. People who read it as a child have passed it to their own children. In a very busy Malaysia, a book like this would have passed most people’s notice.
A parent would have raised the issue with the Home Ministry. It is likely that person would have been someone like me, raised in a more conservative home. Now as a professional, and with child and an inclination to the type of bookstore carrying a book such as this, a moral quandary appears.
While adult material might not be as objectionable to the person as it would have been to his or her parent, there arises the searing question of whether their younger child will see the book as informative advice or pornography (since there are illustrations).
That person, and all the others who follow them, will decide the long-term discussion of how conservative a society is preferred by Malaysians. Because the Hasan Alis of the world are few and never going to change. It is those who were not raised with these changes, but exposed to them and slowly coming to terms with them who will decide the future.
The fact it took so many readers and so many years before a protest was made encourages. It says that an alarming number of Malaysians are not driven by moral clamour. That too is bad news for Hasan Ali.
* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.
