Opinion

Malaysian fun facts!

SEPT 17 — We celebrated Malaysia Day yesterday... adding yet another public holiday to our already public-holiday-filled calendar.

I thought I’d make my own little mark on the day by listing down some things I’ve learned about this beautiful country throughout my 32 years of living.

I’ve never really made it a point to find out if all these “facts” are true or not. I just took everything people told me at face value. Who can you trust if not your fellow Malaysians, right?

So here are 10 fun “facts” for all of you to mull over as we celebrate our country’s birth, presented in a Letterman-style countdown:

10. The word “Malay” comes from the other word “malaise.” Apparently it’s because the Malays are so lazy and mediocre, so the white folks named them that.

9. The word “keling” comes from the noises made by the balls-and-chains of Indian prisoners who were sent to Malaya way back then. Or was it because the Indians used to sell ice-cream in the estates?

8. Chinese associations in Malaysia are actually secret societies that are plotting to take over the Malaysian government and then merge it with Singapore’s.

7. Eating pork makes you good at mathematics. That’s why there are so many Chinese accountants.

6. Indian children are full of lice... so stay away from them.

5. Chinese people like to drive Toyota Camrys.

4. Malay people like to drive Honda Accords.

3. Indian people like to drive purple Proton Sagas or Iswaras.

2. Beware of Chinese ladies who drive with elbow-length gloves. They are trained to run you down. They usually drive Toyota Camrys.

1. Tapai is halal.

Ho hum. Happy (belated) Malaysia Day!

* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.

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