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Numerous will follow after the first - Tay Tian Yan

If he were a kickboxer, he should have won a kickboxing championship.

He made a surprise attack by hitting the woman's head and when the woman lost focus, he continued to beat her all over the body.

The woman fell and he started to kicked her.

Finally, he threw her out.

He won. He crossed his arms as if announcing his victory. The spectators screamed and cried out of shock.

However, it was not a ring game. He was not a boxer either.

The incident took place in a lift at a private hospital. The woman was his wife, and the spectators were his children.

The woman made a police report. After questioning, it was concluded as domestic violence and no action was taken since the victim did not suffer any serious injuries, perhaps she had not yet been sent to the intensive care unit by that time.

Until the video clip went viral online and raised concern in society, the police arrested the man.

A few days later, when the stout man, a civil servant, appeared in court, he was actually smiling.

Those who appear to be normal could actually turn into beasts. They treat their family members who are weak and have no ability to resist cruelly. They are violent and coward.

Unfortunately, it is the most common and connived violence in society.

The act of violence has nothing to do with appearance and occupation; domestic violence takes place everywhere, regardless of wealth and social class.

It reminds me of the most beautiful British domestic goddess, Chef Nigella Lawson.

Nigella is from a distinguished family and her father was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer in 1983. She graduated from Oxford University with high literary attainments. She is fond of cooking and she writes cook books. She won the Man Booker Prize, the highest honour in English book industry.

People are attracted to the goddess not only because of her cooking skills and beauty, but also her thoughtfulness as a woman.

Families were the target of her cooking shows.

For instance, she showed the audience how to prepare a warm meal for their families, a table full of light refreshments for their relatives and friends and a healthy supper for their husbands who worked late.

Her shows were not only about food, but also warmth and happiness.

How could the audience not love the woman!

Not long ago, there was a video clip made public. The goddess and her famous art collector husband Charles Saatchi were dining at a restaurant. They had a quarrel and Charles suddenly held her by the throat. Nigella's face turned red and she burst into tears after he released her.

People were shocked as Nigella, who had always seemed happy, was actually a victim of domestic violence.

Charles claimed that it was nothing more than a "playful tiff". As Nigella did not make a police report, Charles was not prosecuted.

Later, Charles filed for divorce, claiming that his image was tarnished as Nigella did not defend him when he was accused of holding her by the throat.

A perpetrator pretended to be the victim. How could this man be so nasty?

The incident shocked the people as it reflected that domestic violence actually takes place also in the upper social class. More unbelievable, even a successful woman like her had chosen silence and appeasement.

According to a survey by the United Nations, 36% of women have been victims of violence, including sexual violence, and most chose to keep silent to protect their families, including their abuser husbands.

And how many women actually ask for assistance only after they had suffered for a long period of time?

They endured physical and mental trauma along the process of endless torments.

The men-centred mindset that takes women as accessories, as well as indifferent society are the root causes of domestic violence.

Men should think before beating that it is a cowardly act that only weak losers would do; while women should think before being beaten that they actually have the ability to protect themselves.

There is no end for domestic violence. The second will follow the first, the third will follow the second and the torture continues. Children would learn, follow suit and become abusers in the future.

Unless if it was rejected at the first time.

(I was distressed after watching the video clip showing Charles holding his wife by her throat. Hopefully, she could make a new start and get back to her old self, a tender and lovely goddess who would sometimes open the door of a refrigerator at midnight to satisfy her craving for dessert.) - August 20, 2013.

* Tay Tian Yan reads The Malaysian Insider.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.


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